1.Getting up early.
As a parent, you probably already are waking at an hour many people don’t realize exists. But sometimes even 15 extra minutes can make things run more smoothly. Figure out how much time you need to get everyone up, fed and dressed, then set your alarm for 15 minutes before that. That time is a cushion. On a good morning, it means 15 minutes to play together or savor your coffee. On a bad morning, it
means you’re only five minutes behind schedule.
2. Making everyone help.
My husband packs lunches every night. Even if he doesn’t always hit all the major food groups, it’s packed and ready, and that’s what matters. My toddler carries his lunch bag into school, even if it means we walk a little slower. Even the baby is asked to “hang tight” for five minutes in the evenings while I get a snack for his brother and put away the breast milk I pumped at work.
3. Tag-teaming.
I shower while the husband gets breakfast for the toddler. He showers while I nurse the baby. The husband holds the baby while I fix the toddler’s dinner plate. He scrubs the dishes while I scrub the boys.
4. Encouraging independence.
If you have a toddler, you have a child old enough to follow simple directions. My oldest son likes to put away his shoes and climb into his car seat. It isn’t always as fast as I would like, but it frees me up to take care of the kid who can’t help himself. He also is great entertainment for the baby, provided I can keep one eye on them and am within yelling distance to say, “EASY! You have to be gentle
with your brother.”
5. Using our appliances.
Our slow cooker has taken up permanent residence on our counter. Between frozen leftovers from extra-large weekend meals and breast milk, our freezer has never been this full. But with a little extra prep work and help from modern technology, I’ve managed to put a home-cooked dinner on the table even on the nights the baby needs to eat as soon as we get home.
6. Putting everything in place.
Nothing throws off a schedule faster than lost keys or a missing blanky. All bags are packed the night before and put in their respective homes –lunches and bottles in the fridge; pump on the counter, purse and diaper bag in the bedroom. In the morning, while the toddler eats and before the baby is up, I gather everything but my purse–which is my last-minute dumping ground –into the car so it can’t be
left in the out-the-door whirlwind.
7. Giving two-minute warnings.
Kids handle transitions from one thing to the next better when they know what’s coming. By giving our toddler a steady countdown to time to go or time for dinner, the husband and I also keep ourselves on track.
8. Making every minute count.
Quality time is any time you and your kids are in the same place. Rushing from home to work and back again, it’s easy to feel like you have no time with your kids. But you do, if you just take the time to notice it. We sing songs in the car and play I-spy to practice colors. The husband and I flirt over the boys’ heads at the supper table.
Tag Archive: behavior
Most parents at some time or another will have that eye-opening experience that comes when they realize their kids are master manipulators who are pushing their buttons to get what they want. Of course, this realization can dawn on some parents when their kids are toddlers, and others may not hit this moment until their kids are elementary age or beyond. Sometimes you may even think you nipped the issue in the bud months or years ago only to realize that your kids have found a new and improved way to get what they
want out of you.
So just how can you spot manipulation in your kids?
Here are some things to look out for:
- Temper tantrums and whining. You may think that temper tantrums and whining are just for toddlers, but this behavior is pretty common in older kids, too. You only have to ground your child from a sleepover, party, or other event or take away their phone to see that kids will whine and throw tantrums at all ages. The purpose? To make you feel guilty about whatever punishment you just doled out, or even if you simply said “no” to something they wanted. The pitfall for parents, of course, is that more often than not it does work as planned to make us feel guilty.
- How many times do you say no? If you find yourself saying “no” to a request over and over again, your children are indeed trying to manipulate you. Whereas whining and tantrums bring on guilt, this repeated questioning tactic serves to wear you down. They want to annoy you so badly that you inevitably give in. If this behavior persists in your kids, it’s because this form of manipulation has worked for them in the past, and they have learned if they ask you enough times you will change your tune.
- Raising a lawyer. If it has ever crossed your mind that your children are going to grow up to be lawyers, it’s no doubt because they have been known to use logic and reasoning to manipulate you. They ask you why you won’t give in to their request, and they come up with a whole slew of responses about why you should reconsider.
- ‘What did your mother say?’ Another common ploy is to either pit one parent against the other or to ask another parent if they don’t like what the first one said. If you often tell your kids something only to hear, “What did your mother say?” coming from the other room a few minutes later, this is yet another form of manipulation.
Often, when you become aware of the fact that your kids are attempting to manipulate you in one way or another (or sometimes in multiple ways at once), you can work to end the behavior.
Have Fun With Your Preschooler!
If you are the parent of a preschooler, you are probably hearing a lot of, “No!” and “I can do it myself!” as your child starts to want to be independent. At this age, your child is learning new things every day, and you can support his development by letting him make some small decisions, doing fun activities, and helping him explore new things! Tips for spending time with your preschooler
• Give your child choices. If you ask your child what she wants to wear that day, you are probably setting yourself up for a morning of tantrums when she picks out a sundress in the middle of winter and you have to say no. Help your child make some small decisions by giving her options, such as choosing between two outfits or between cereal and toast for breakfast.
• Let your child try. Be patient with your child, as it may take many tries at tying his shoes before he can finally do it himself. Buy clothes that your child can easily put on and take off by himself. If he becomes frustrated, help talk him through a difficult task, and praise him when he completes it. Most importantly, remember that a sense of humor can turn a stressful moment into a fun one. If your preschooler refuses to put on his coat, put it on the dog – the distraction and laughter may make him put it on right away without a fuss!
• Say what you mean and mean what you say. Preschoolers need clear directions. For example, saying “I see you put some toys away, but I’d like it if you put the rest in the toy box” tells her what you want her to do and reinforces good behavior, whereas saying “this room is still messy” is not as specific and is negative. Also, preschoolers need limits. Let your child know what to expect and what is expected of her when it comes to small chores that she can and should do, and consequences for when she doesn’t listen.
• Think outside the box. Your preschooler is active and always needs to be busy doing something, but you don’t have to go far to think of things to do. Preschoolers have good imaginations and like to use them. Play dress-up with your child, get out some paper and crayons and make a book, or just take a walk! All of these things will keep your child busy, help him learn, and be fun for both of you!
• Help your child transition. At this age, children still need to know what to expect from their day. Even with a regular routine, your child still needs time to adjust to different things in the day, such as being dropped to school. You can make these times easier by talking him through them. For example, tell him he has ten more minutes to play before it’s time to leave for school, and reassure him that you will be there to pick him up after rest time is over at school.
• Talk and read to your child. The best way to support your preschooler’s learning and spend quality time with her is to have a conversation with her and read to her. Take advantage of things like car or train rides to talk about your child’s day and discuss your surroundings. Take your child to the library and help her pick out some books that you can read together. And of course, make reading part of your child’s bedtime routine, even if she asks for the same book every night. You’ll see that this might even become your favorite part of the day!
Parents often forget that a toddler’s social behavior is motivated not only by a desire to avoid displeasing others (especially parents), but also by a genuine desire to please. All too often, parents offer behavioral guidelines only in negative terms. If you take the time to praise good behavior often enough, your child will eventually make an effort to repeat it. Like all toddlers, your child needs to be allowed to explore her environment. This exploration is part of her growing independence, confidence, and separation from you. (Don’t worry, your child won’t separate too much for many more years to come.) If you want your toddler to make the most of her early adventures, you’ll need not only to provide her with the opportunity to make new discoveries, but actually to encourage exploration and experimentation. Constantly having to tell your toddler “No!” will do exactly the opposite. It pointedly discourages your child from exploring her environment-at least parts of it. In addition, the sternness and suddenness with which you say, “No!” will probably frighten your child. Many toddlers burst into tears, falling apart whenever their parents say, “No!” In general, your toddler doesn’t like to do anything that displeases you. Oh, your child certainly has a will of her own. And when push comes to shove, your toddler would much rather get what she wants than sacrifice it for the sake of avoiding your displeasure. Nonetheless, conflict with you, a clash between your desires (for her safety, for example) and hers (for free reign) is very scary for your toddler. It feels dangerous to displease you. In your child’s mind, the thought of your disapproval is equated with rejection, and therefore intensifies any abandonment fears. So try to avoid saying, “No!” all of the time. Whenever you do say it, follow up by comforting your child. Explain in concrete terms why you wanted your toddler to stop doing what she was doing (danger to herself, danger or harm to others, and so on). Above all, emphasize that even when you get angry at her, you still love your child. Toddlers, so richly anchored in the present, often have a hard time realizing this.
Read more on FamilyEducation: http://life.familyeducation.com/discipline/toddler/53222.html?detoured=1#ixzz1IIkpEHR s
This year Paradise Place School will partner with the Gunnison-Hinsdale Early Childhood Council in an effort to participate in a community-wide initiative that will focus on social and emotional development for children called the Pyramid Model.
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The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL) is focused on promoting the social emotional development and school readiness of young children birth to age 5. CSEFEL is a national resource center funded by the Office of Head Start and Child Care Bureau for disseminating research and evidence-based practices to early childhood programs across the country.
The goals of the Pyramid Model are to help children:
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You will receive information throughout the school year about this initiative and be invited to a parent night to learn more. In the meantime, please call Ben Poswalk or speak with your child’s teacher at Paradise Place to see how we are implementing the Pyramid Model in our classrooms. Our staff will be happy to show you how your child’s learning environment, relationships with peers and adults, and social-emotional curriculum are working together to buiold the skills they need for the foundation of school readiness and success.
Mothers Day Gifts from Paradise Students & Rocky Mt. Trees
