There are many great and important events at Paradise Place in this month’s newsletter! Click her for more information.

Here are a few activities to try:
Coloring
Or approximating the act of coloring– is usually the first step toward fine motor development that preschoolers take. Some time between 15 months and 30 months of age, a toddler will begin trying to color within the lines of a picture. Encourage this by offering plenty of coloring books, coloring sheets and blank sheets of paper as fine motor activities. Don’t be too strict about the “right” way to color; there’s no need to stifle your child’s creativity.

Drawing
Between 30 and 40 months of age, your preschooler may begin trying to draw pictures that are somewhat recognizable. These may be vague stick-figure people, shapes, plants or animals. Encourage your preschooler to draw by offering fill-in-the-blank versions of simple pictures. Ask your toddler to draw a tail on a simplified cat, two eyes on a face, an
arm on a stick-figure, and so on. You can also try making cardboard stencils of easy shapes; your preschooler can trace these with a marker.

Cutting
Most toddlers learn to snip with scissors between 24 and 40 months of age. To encourage his fine motor development, offer your preschooler a pair of safety scissors when you feel that he can use them safely (always supervise him when he is holding scissors). The internet offers hundreds of free sheets that toddlers can use to practice cutting. Play-Doh offers a “FUNdamentals” kit with different types of dull scissors for cutting craft clay; these are useful and don’t require as much supervision for safe use.

Gluing
Your creative preschooler will enjoy any fine motor activity that involves gluing. What’s more fun than a sticky mess? Offer glue sticks as well as liquid paste so that your toddler can enjoy this fine motor activity. You can use glue for paper puzzles, paper dolls, seasonal crafts, paper-bag puppets, and dozens of other fine motor activities. Choose simple crafts that fit your child’s fine motor developmental level.

Writing
At around age three, your preschooler may able to begin writing simple letters– or squiggly lines at look convincingly like letters. There’s no need to fret if your preschooler can’t write a letter until he is kindergarten-age, but there’s also no harm in introducing him to writing early. Encourage your child to copy you as you write large, simple letters. “O” “V” and “t’ are usually the easiest to start with. When you feel your preschooler is ready, try helping him to write his name.

Paradise Place School April News

Please take the time to read the April 2012 Newsletter to find out about:

• A number of Spring Events & Reminders
• Summer & 2012-13 School Year Registration
• Parenting Ideas: 10 “No” Alternatives
• Class Updates & Requests
• Birthdays, Kid Quotes & More!

Easter Party: Classes will hold their Easter Parties on Friday, April 6th from 10:00-10:30. All children are invited even if Friday is not your child’s scheduled day. Parents of children not scheduled that day are asked to please remain with your child during the party. Please ask you teachers what type of snacks you can bring in or how you can help.

Parent Conferences: These important conferences will be held the week of May 7th. You will be able to sign-up for a 20 minute conference to hear about your child’s many milestones. We hope that all parents will make the effort to meet with their child’s teacher.

Spring Cleaning: Every spring we have a day to clean-up and spruce up the school in conjunction with UCC. Before that time we will have parents sign-up to work outside or inside the school. It will be on Saturday May 12th. It is a great way to earn the last of your parent hours. Parent hours need to be completed by the end of May. Remember that there is a $10 charge for each of the 10 hours not earned.

Graduation Day: Our Graduation Ceremony will be on the evening of Thursday, May 17st. We will also have a Pot Luck after the ceremony. All classes will be involved in the ceremony. Please put this on your calendar.

The 2012 Summer Program will run from June 7th -August 17th (give-or-take – depending on the CBCS Calendar for 2012-13) Our school year will run from August 27th- May 31st. We kindly ask you to do the following:

• Complete the appropriate blue & yellow registration forms for summer and for the 2012-13 school year. The registration forms will be in your child’s mailbox April 16th.
• Return the forms to the Paradise Place office, along with registration fees. Currently enrolled students who return forms/fees by 4/27/12 will have first choice for scheduling.

2012 Registration Fees

Summer Registration: $40/$50 non-refundable fee– which goes toward reserving your spot and supplies for the summer program.
2012-13 Registration: $100 non-refundable fee – which goes toward reserving your spot and supplies for children enrolling in the fall program.

10 Ways to Say “No” Without Saying “No”

By Mike Mitchell

There are better ways to deny, deter, or discipline your child than always saying “no.” Aside from the obvious exhaustion — for both parent and child — some parenting experts believe that saying “no” too much can breed resentment or plant seeds for future rebellion. According to Audrey Ricker, Psy.D., co-author of Backtalk: 4 Steps in Ending Rude Behavior in Your Kids, using “no” too often can desensitize a child to its meaning, so save the word for life-threatening situations instead. Use short, clear and concise phrases to explain why your toddler shouldn’t do something. Try these 10 short sentences to substitute for “no”:

“I know you like ice cream, but eating too much is not good.”
David Walsh, Ph.D., author of No: Why Kids — Of All Ages — Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It, suggests that parents deny certain junk food requests, like ice cream and candy, by offering a healthier alternative, such as yogurt. Avoid the promise of “maybe tomorrow,” Dr. Walsh says. “Toddlers can’t comprehend time very well, so it doesn’t make sense to tell them exactly when in the future they will get ice cream. Most toddlers just want what they want, so the parents need to calmly, firmly, and warmly offer the healthy snack in spite of a toddler’s protests.” This way, your toddler still gets a treat, but it’s better option.

“Food is for eating, not for flinging.”
Toddlers tend to play with food because they might still be full from a previous meal. The food then becomes a toy, says Linda Shook Sorkin, a licensed marriage and family therapist and expert contributor for KidPointz.com. Instead of shouting as your toddler flings a bowl full of macaroni and cheese to the floor, simply take the bowl away and explain the reason why he shouldn’t throw food. Use this calm, explanatory approach when your little one starts bouncing on the bed in the late hours by saying, “Beds are for sleeping and relaxing, not for jumping.” But if he takes a sip of milk without protest, acknowledge the good behavior with a compliment.

“Don’t knock down Legos. Let me show you how to play.”
If your curious toddler decides to go Godzilla on his big brother’s Lego tower, it’s not always a sign of jealousy — at least not consciously, explains Fran Walfish, Psy.D., author of The Self-Aware Parent: Resolving Conflict and Building a Better Bond with Your Child. “He may not be aware that he is jealous of his brother’s talent. He may simply see the Lego building and think that it would be fun to knock it down,” Dr. Walfish says. “Most kids hate to be told what to do, some more than others. But if your
child hears you reflect out loud what he should want and feel, this will help raise his self-awareness and feel seen, acknowledged, and understood. This is empathy.” Ask if you can join in and model the proper way to play with others.

“Things need to grow. Let’s be gentle.”
If you catch your toddler ripping apart prized peonies or pulling a family pet’s tail, point out that plants and animals are alive too. “When you hurt the flower (or pet), you hurt its feelings and growth.” This helps you child develop empathy and awareness of the feelings of other living beings. “Give the child responsibility to learn that plants should be treated with respect, as with nature in general,” says Marva Soogrim, the nanny of choice for celebrity A-listers, including Reese Witherspoon, Julia Roberts, and Courteney Cox, and the founder of MarvalousBabies.com.

“We use our words, not our hands.”
This is a clever approach to avoid saying “No hitting your sister.” “A toddler’s capacity to understand what it means to hit others is very limited. It’s important to stop the aggressor immediately and then calmly state the behavior you want, by saying ‘We do not hit when we are angry,’” Shook Sorkin explains. In many instances, the toddler is expressing his frustrations or seeking attention. “Ask siblings to hug each other to cultivate affection. Help kids calm down when they are angry or ask what they want
when they are unhappy,” she says. Another variation is to help the child begin identifying the feelings he is experiencing in any given moment. Once that feeling is identified, take a step further to solve the problem.

“I can’t understand you when you whine like that. Tell me in your regular voice.”
As your tot learns new words, she may whine to protest or request something. Avoid saying, “Stop whining” or “We don’t whine.” Instead, encourage her to communicate with simple words. Richard Bromfield, Ph.D., author of How to Unspoil Your Child Fast, suggests saying, “I can’t understand you when you use the whiny voice.” This can convince your child to speak in a normal tone. “The most powerful and natural motivator will be the reward of having her words, feelings, or requests heard and
responded to. This approach carries the implicit lesson that the child has a choice in not just her tone of voice but in much of her behavior.”

“Watch out! Mommy is coming to get you.”
Laughter can be a wonderful asset when disciplining because it shows that you can identify when a more lighthearted approach is best. “Distraction and humor are excellent strategies to use with toddlers who are feeling stubborn or irritable,” says Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.D., author of What About Me? 12 Ways to Get Your Parents’ Attention (Without Hitting Your Sister). “Little kids love to laugh, so doing
something silly can be a fun and caring way to redirect them towards greater cooperation. You don’t have to be a great comedian to do this. You can say a funny warning, like ‘Here come the tickle fingers!’” The next time your toddler is knocking the garbage can over or throwing a ball in the house, playfully chase him into another room where there are more appropriate forms of engagement.

“Can mommy have the phone? You can have this toy.”
Your child may want to hold your iPhone every time it rings in the grocery store, but it’s not a plaything. Give your child a small and engaging toy instead the next time she tries to grab the phone. “It’s easier for children to replace a behavior than to stop it,” Dr. Kennedy-Moore says. If you don’t have a toy with you, try handing her a safe and inedible item (like a plastic ball) that can’t be destroyed or cause a mess and isn’t dangerous. You can also use the opportunity to educate them on the different items in the store.

“Leave your shoes on. We take our shoes off only at home.”
Your toddler just began wearing shoes and he makes every attempt to take them off. Instead of chiding him to “stop taking your shoes off,” explain what you want him to do instead. This can even be applied to toddlers who start wearing their wardrobes at inopportune times. Try, “We wear bathing suits at the beach, not at the playground.” Or if your toddler climbs on top of furniture say, “Chairs are for sitting down” or “Please stand on the floor.”

“Stop!” “Danger!” or “Hot!”
Sometimes “no” isn’t enough to communicate possible danger. Instead, use other strong adjectives or verbs with a tone of urgency to convey a sense of urgency. “Parents forget that they have to work hard at the positive communication they have with kids for the negative to be effective,” Dr. Ricker says. She suggests parents communicate danger by “raising their voice, shaking their finger or even looking
scared.” This means that if your toddler is about to put his hand on the stove — even when it’s not in use — express your fear with alarming phrases and move him to a safer place immediately.

Paradise Place March News

Please take the time to read the March 2012 Newsletter to find out about:

• Casino Night – Winter Fundraiser!
• Free Dental Screnings
• Great Parenting Ideas
• Class Updates & Requests
• Birthdays, Kid Quotes & More!

Are You Feeling Lucky?

This Saint Patrick’s Day, March 17th, Paradise Place will be hosting Crested Butte’s annual Casino Night at the Grand Ballroom from 7-10p.m. Join us Saint Patrick’s Day for your chance at $500 cash or a Costa Rica Vacation! Donate money for chips to participate in a No Limit Texas Hold’Em Tournament, Craps, Black Jack & Roulette.

• Luck of the Draw for Prizes.
• Appetizers, Free Beer and Cash Bar will be provided.
• 100% of the proceeds will be donated to our school!!!
• Free babysitting will be available on mountain that night for all that join us.

TICKETS $40 OR $75 PER COUPLE
Please call 970 390-4057 or purchase at 404 Maroon Ave.

Would you like to volunteer or donate? Call (970)349-2149

Child therapist Clair Mellenthin, LCSW, says this is all part of normal childhood development. “Many parents are confused by their child who, until last week, slept through the night, kept the door closed, and wasn’t worried about monsters under their bed – and this week has morphed into a hysterical, frightened, over-tired monster themselves.”

How parents address their child’s fears goes a long way in alleviating the symptoms of fear, Mellenthin advises.

“Take the time to ask your child to describe their fear- what are they really afraid of? For instance, a child who is afraid to have the lights off at night may really be more afraid that you won’t hear her when she feels worried or nervous during the night,” she says.

Never shame your child for expressing a worry or fear. Instead, validate the fear and then engage your child in finding a solution or developing a plan on how they overcome it and empower themselves, Mellenthin suggests.

If the child is very young, psychotherapist Barbara Neitlich offers that parents can help the child choose a transitional object such as a stuffed animal to help them to feel safe and secure in the dark.
On other common childhood fears, experts offer the following advice:

Learning to swim: “If your child fears the water then respect that fear. Tell them you understand their feelings and that they can decide if they want to go in. Model for them the safety and fun of the water while still respecting their hesitancy,” Neitlich says.

Separation: Separation anxiety or fear can be complex. If your child fears that they are
going to be left behind or that you will forget to pick them up from school, ask them why they think that, Neitlich says. “Help your child by creating a transitional object together (e.g. beaded bracelets are great for elementary school girls). By creating something together and showing them that they always have something with them (of Mommy/or Daddy) they begin to feel a bit safer in their environment.”

Getting shots: Let your doctor know about your child’s fear of shots ahead of time, Stephanie Moulton Sarkis, PhD NCC LMHC www.stephaniesarkis.com, says. “Ask your doctor for a prescription for a skin-numbing cream. Remember the cream needs to be applied ahead of time.” Moulton also says that it may be helpful to distract your child during the shot, and to always stay calm. “Don’t tell your child it won’t hurt. Tell them it will feel like a pinch.” Bring your child’s favorite toy with them, and reward them afterward, she says.

Animals: Help your child to verbalize what it is they are afraid of with dogs, Neitlich
advises. “With animals I often find it is helpful for the child to draw a picture telling a story why they are afraid. Helping them to put their feelings into words often helps to diminish the fear.” Candi Wingate, president of Nannies4Hire, says it’s also useful to read books and watch movies about friendly dogs and cats, and to steer clear of animals that you don’t know or whose temperaments may reinforce your child’s fear. “Gradually increase time with and proximity to dogs and cats as your child’s comfort level grows. When your child is ready, pet a dog or cat together. Ultimately, encourage your child to
hold a dog or cat,” Wingate says.